|Sometimes it's best to stay home.|
"Dear Miles, My face turns bright red after I run at lunch. It's embarrassing at work. How should I respond to stares?"
- If I were "Miles", I'd reply. "Tell them you're choking to death and to call 911 immediately."
"Dear Miles, I coughed mildly while running at the gym (a dry, noncontagious cough [how the f does this guy know what a "noncontagious" cough sounds like??]) when someone told me it's "people like you" that get him sick. How should I have reacted?"
- My reply: "Punch the bitch in the mouth and tell him that now he has something else to worry about than catching a cold."
Last one, ready?
"Dear Miles, someone said I'm too tall to do a marathon. Is this valid?"
- [oh. my. god. I wanted to poke my eyes out after reading this one.] My reply: "Yes, it's valid Sasquatch. Go join a circus and make some money."
Two of my past favorites were losers asking:
"If my shoe comes untied during a group run, should I tie it?"
"My training partner is faster than I am. What should I do about it?"
I KNOW I'm nothing special but please stab me in the temple with a Bic pen if I ever ask a question as dumb as these...