15 December 2010

Jesus Drives a Hummer

Who would have thunk it?

Jim Gaffigan discusses Jesus...


  1. Shiite Catholic - nice. Good stuff in there.

  2. "We had to go to Hell to find a contractor" I love stand-up comedy.

  3. Jesus drives a Hummer, cell phone blazing,
    Doing 80 in a 60 and tail gating.
    You May not believe it, but I know that it’s true
    The sticker on the bumper said “what would Jesus do?”

    Jesus built a mega-church, the building fund was huge.
    50,000 people sit in gold emblazoned pews.
    A mountain by a seaside simply would not do,
    And the flashing neon sign out front said what would jesus do?

    Jesus votes republican, Sarah Palin says it’s so.
    Don’t tax the rich but pay the banks with our hard earned dough.
    The money changers may make jobs, but not for me and you.
    And the motto on their money says what would Jesus do.

    Jesus wants the Muslims dead, George Bush has heard him speak.
    If we strike first then we don’t have to turn the other cheek.
    We are supposed to love our enemies, I know Jesus says it’s true
    But the slogans on the bombs say what would jesus do?

    Jesus wants the death sentence for anyone who sins.
    Years ago, you know, we did it to him.
    From the 6th commandment we will take our cue.
    But the bracelet on the man who throws the switch says what would jesus do?

    Jesus hates the welfare state, the poor must carry their load.
    Don’t feed them when they are hungry nor give them your clothes
    If you’re asked to walk a mile, then why should you walk two
    And the homeless often wonder what would Jesus do?

    Yeah, Jesus drives a Hummer putting on her make up,
    Flipping people off and having her a Starbucks.
    You may not believe it but I know that its true
    The sticker on the bumper said what would Jesus do.